"I dont want to die lonely and weary of life.. I will not be earth bound, im gonna fly, life is a game, fit only for fools, its a hoax that cant win, for a race that it can only loose"

But perhaps for people like us thats what we have to do. Sometimes we have to admit defeat. We have to give up and accept the inveitable fate that destiny has set in place.
Sometimes, the thing we have to give up is the thing we love the most. If your stubborn, like myself, we keep fighting, to the death. Unless its something to which you cannot die, then it becomes a cruel and sick journey more painful than death.
I hate admitting and never have admitted defeat for something I truely belive in. I beleive its a weak and cowardly thing to do. One should never give up his honor.

But sometimes, its what we need to do, for what we love, and for ourselves.

In japanese tradition, one committs ritual suicide called "seppuku" in order to maintain their honor after suffering a defeat.

I have admitted defeat, but like all Humans, the desire to continue to fight burns within me. I would love more than anything to comitt seppuku. However, I still maintain hope, like any fool who lives in the same scenario, that in the end, the thing we love the most will be standing there and our journey is complete.

God has other plans for me... I hate him for it. But sometimes, we need to accept it.